White Africa

Ugh. White Africa....alright.

I first met him leaving the education building after observing autistic kids. Noel threw plastic plates around because I dared to help him organize, I was scared for my life. So I'm walking to my car and he looks like he's about to take the bus. I remember he was wearing red, maybe had his hood up, basketball jersey, and that damn CD player. I guess he's attractive piercing gray eyes, nose a little big...but you can't have it all... his style needed some definite work and his personality...wasn't the most appealing. He comes up to me and tells me I'm beautiful etc..and shows me the picture of his baby sister, cute little girl with a braid and the same light gray eyes or maybe hers were green. He could pass as white with a hint of middle eastern, his features are definitely unique. He talks about how he's not white and that he's from Africa. Africa?? What part? South Africa?? I was right. Ohh well umm...wow. He seemed much more laid back back then. He gave me his number, I never called.

Less than a year later I'm talking to my coworker about him, not really sure how the subject came up, she's a voluptuous girl with mahogany skin and a crazy personality. Oh think I remember how Africa came up. I saw this guy from Africa I was familiar with on her facebook page, so chocolaty and sexy I told her how I wanted him. She laughed her ass off, she didn't understand why. I think I thought it would take me back to my roots who knows. Then I said....there's this white guy, from Africa..."I know who your talking about she says." Before I finished to sentence.
"Picture of his sister?"
"Yes." she says.
"Always has on headphones?"
"Yes."
"That's him..wow. He really loves black girls."
Fast Forward to Yesterday.

I'm sitting in the hot sun filling out an intent to graduate. The thing had a million questions and every time I thought I was done there was more. And he comes and sits next to me and I immediately recognize him. This time he's wearing a blue button down (with the jersey from the first time I met him underneath) , dew rag, black jeans, and black dress shoes. Ooooh lord. I just remember I saw him the other day talking to a girl in front of the library. I want him to go away.
He tells me how I'm so fine. I have nice hands, nice toes, he shows me the picture of his mulatto little sister to prove his blackness, and once again. The CD player. I don't even bother tell him that I've met him before, I don't care. But I'm nice, I laugh here and there when he says something odd, I don't want to hurt his feeling cause god knows what he's been through. I'm done with my intent to I go to the office to turn it in, he wants to follow me, ooh lord. I get to the office I have 25 minutes till it opens. Shit. So now I have to stand here with white Africa until the door opens because I'm too nice to tell him to f off. I ask him how long he's been here. "a month and a half"
I ask him if he goes to school here.
"I'm enrolled in one class"
I ask him if he was a car.
"A 2005 Ferrari."
Did any of the those answers surprise me? No because I knew he was a lyin ass liar.
"Oh yeah? A Ferrari?"
"Yeah, I paid $56,925.46 for it."
"Oh, ok. That's a lot of money." I look at the time there's like 15 minutes left.
He keeps trying to touch my hands, and when I laugh at his goofiness, he hugged me. That's when I told him to not touch me.
"Ok, Ok, I won't touch you."
He had an ex girlfriend that's pregnant by him, psychotic chick, broke his arm once. That part I believed because...that's not something you say when you want to impress somebody.
OASIS finally opens and I go stand in line. I finally get to get away from him without hurting his feelings, why the hell did I not want to hurt his feelings?? When I think he walks away I hear this bird like chirp. I look behind and it's him walking down the stares. "Bye Cute Girl!" He yells. and leaves. 5 minutes later. "Psssssst!" I turn around. It's my old coworker from 1 year ago. "You would be the one to turn around she says.
I said "Holy Shit, you'd never guess who just left here." I say.
" Who?"
"White Africa."
"Who's White Africa"
"That White African guy who harasses all the black girls on campus." she dies laughing.
"I thought he was banned from this campus" I did not know they could ban people.
Ummm apparently the banning did nothing. So we go into the advising office..where we ended up having a good time. We talked about Borat, and the Oscars, and how our school sucks, and the fact that almost everybody there was walking without getting a degree. I ended up having to go to another office after that place and when I left I saw White Africa. Talking to another black girl with braids.I shook my head when I saw him.

I imagine him being in South Africa where segregation just ended like 10 years years ago. I imagine his European features being so appealing to those beautiful black women who have an inferiority complex because they are being treated differently because of their dark skin. They live on the poor side of the area while the white people live behind pretty white picket fences on African soil. (I just saw Catch A Fire and Blood Diamond) I imagine it being so easy to pick up dark skinned women in Africa with those gray eyes...a way out, hope for the kids...I imagine him feeling so superior because of his light skin. But in AMERICA....man. It takes more than gray eyes. Yeah, black women these days may have an inferiority complex but they'll be damned if they can't be with a dude with atleast a job, style, or some smooth words here and there. White Africa we are not the one. You might want to take that back to where you came from.