Women....I don't understand them...

I don't know. I'm a woman, but I don't understand them. Actually, no I do...but I guess I can't accept how a lot of women are. I'm so sensitive to people actions around me that the actions replay in my head untill I get to the root of the action. I guess because society places so much focus on physical appearances submissive roles are thought to be ideal and that tends to lead women to view themselves as objects...play things...sometimes just mere accessories that can give you pleasure every once in a while, then women forget to value themselves to the point where they focus there opinions on a man...(who's thought to be superior in society) to feel worth it. To the point where jealousy is viewed more as a female trait, women constantly subconsciously attack eachother and men find this humorous and sometimes entertaining when in his head he knows his absolute value and yet "here are these beautiful women fighting to get my attention just because....I'm...a guy". A man will eventually come to accept this silly perception as...as truth. He thinks it's the truth...and so does the woman...Such is the case in many societies some instances much, much more than others. Is the womanly trait of jealousy more nurture or nature?

When a female stabs a female who's supposed to be a friend in the back because of another guy...nature a nurture?

When a female flirts with another females man just to see if he's attracted to her nature or nurtute?

When a female constantly compares themselves to other females..is that nature or nuture?

Does it depend on how adequate the female feels and what lengths she would go to to feel adequate?

Constantly looking at other females as a threat...is that nature or nurture?


I've been trying to figure this out...my dream is to write a book on this.
7 Deadly Sins of Sisterhood (I got this off the Tyra Show and dashed for my pen)

Betrayal
Manipulation
Judgement
Resentment
Envy
Gossip
Competition

I made a conscious decision not to ever be like that(before I ever saw that show of course) Have I lost my feminine identity? I'm a new breed, not quite feminine...not really close to masculine I'm just....genuine. Sometimes I'll just be walking..in my own little world and some female's with a guy and that disprespectful guy looks at me and that female looks me UP and DOWN as if to say "who is this bitch" and I'm thinking...why don't you turn to that disrespectful man your walking with, the crime is not mine. And I think to myself...Females look at eachother like that on a regular basis...why can't be congratulate eachother...be proud of one another and not detest one another for no reason at all. Maybe throw in a "high 5" every now and then just for the hell of it. The more we respect our selves and eachother the more men will grow accustomed to the respect the less a woman will have to lose herself to feel adequate. Every feature, every material thing, every talent was provided to that person by the grace of god. And if another person has an issue with that, it doesn't make any sense to get mad at that female they need to take that up with God. But they can't because he's the almighty and he provides for different reasons....life is so temporary..in the end we'll understand what really matters....

Home

A couple weeks ago I went home....maybe a month ago. A month ago I went home and I was a little annoyed because I never really get much sleep when I'm there cause every morning I'm awoken by my named being called as if I was missing out on some plans that nobody told me about. Everybody would be dressed and ready to go and I would be strolling out in my pajamas and my family friends from Jamaica would joke about me always being late, but of course I'm late if you wake me up, AFTER everybody's ready. So on the last day I was there I was thinking screw this..everybody do your shopping thing I'm going back to O-town school's about to start I need to get situated....(god knows I'm going to pay for the times that I use lame excuses to get away from my home) But my mom's like your not going anywhere you going shopping with us...and I'm like...alright whatever.
I walk to my car and there's a note on my windshield with my driver's liscence picture and a note that say " I think I'm so cute with my big water head" immediately realize it's from my Uncle In Law and I can't even go into how weird of a discovery that was but I was so annoyed that nothing could bother me.
So I drive in a seperate car because there's no space in my mom's car and I get to my gran aunt's house who we're about to pick up and, my mom's like "Kelly's" going to ride with you. Kelly's about my age and can't hear or speak and I don't know sign language. I didn't really want to ride with Kelly only because there was a communication barrier and I would feel really awkward just sitting in the car looking angry...I didn't want her to think I was a bitch. So I kinda just stared a head and didn't jam to my radio because for some reason I thought it would be offensive. So we get to the department store and my little brother starts acting up...sometimes he cries in public because he's a brat at times. He wanted to rip the price stickers off and I wouldn't let him, I stuck them back on to the tags and called it a day. He runs away crying and wraps himself up in I'm assuming a really expensive, "little black dress" My brother cried so loud that Kelly who can't even hear 99% of the time, covered her ears. Kelly tries to go get him but I shake my head not to. "Let him cry" I mouth. She understands. So I'm waiting for him to cry and realize he's not going to get his way when this blonde sales associate comes walking by. "Is he lost" she says to another. I sat back and didn't say anything. He can be lost for a few minutes. "I want sticky" my brother cries" so the sales associate goes and get's some sales stickers and draws smiley faces on them. And I'm sitting there like...there's definetly no lesson being learned here. Be bad, get stickers from blonde ladies? I guess there's more of that to come in his life.