I usually like the original version of songs but..I'm listening to Frankie J's version of "More than words" over and over again and I don't even know why.
Saying "I love you"
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words
Is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me yeah
'Cause I'd already know
What would you do, if my heart was torn into?
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away?
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying "I love you"
Now that I've tried to talk to you
And make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands
And touch me
Hold me close, don't ever let me go
More than words
Is all you ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say, that you love me yeah
Cause I'd already know
More than words
You can LOVE so much more by doing than saying. I got a card from my Dad for my 21st birthday. It's one of the MAHOGANY cards by Hallmark. Hallmark for the mahogany people because they need seperate cards with people that kind of look like them. If I'm not mistaken it's in a seperate section, segregated from the other Hallmark cards and then one of the Mahogany cards wouldn't move for one of the white Hallmark cards because her feet were tired.....
The card says this
"Daughter, You are my precious gift
No one can count on the future, or know what they someday might do. But if I could have chosen a daughter, my heart would have reached out to you- I'd have wished for your warm disposition and dreamed of your spirit and style, I'd hoped for your love and affection, imagined your beautiful smile. Life holds some gifts and surprises, and one of the best there could be Is having a daughter as precious as the one who was given to me.
Happy Birthday
With all my love.
(In his handwriting) Happy Birthday. With all the love in the world. Your Father. (Just incase I forgot who he was)
With all the love in the world? I think I've figured out why my view on love is a little distorted see, I have the tendency to never call or keep in contact with the people I love and adore because since the person that's supposed to love me so much doesn't ever talk to me, unless I call him. I've learned from the best I guess. And then he has a list of excuses ready as to why he hadn't called etc... I guess when I finally hit the legal drinking age he realized he'd never really been there for me financially emotionally... So he suggests I open an account so he can transfer money biweekly...like some sort of "Hey sorry I wasn't around" paycheck. Because that's definetly a way to pay back the years...
Love is just being there...not money. I hadn't heard from him 6 months after his suggestion and I figured it was because he didn't have or want to spend the money on me. I didn't want the money. Honestly, I was happy I would have evidence he was alive every 2 weeks. Is money the reason he wasn't around? Is that all he thought I wanted? I'd always thought about that when I was a kid. Whenever I dated a guy I never wanted him to buy me anything...ohhhhhh but there's a catch. I wanted him to WANT to do it. I would ask for money or to buy me something just to see what he would say but I never really wanted it. Hell, they could bluff and say "hey, I WANT to buy you [insert superficial item here] " and I would just be happy know that they WANTED to do that, I'd never call their bluff...I didn't care. I'm not a gold digger. yeah it's good to have money and it's cool if someone spends it on you but...I dunno, I want to be able to support myself and he do the same etc..That's the real reward earning what you have I think. And someone giving from their heart...I can not stand when I guy brags about what he has or where's he's gone or what he drives and think that's supposed to impress someone...who gives a- , can you make me laugh, can we carry on a silly conversation about nothing (I love that) can we....listen to Cold Play without you thinking it's threatening your sexuality. Can you be yourself? And I do the same? Some many more things than frivolous materials things...
I called him on it...and if I'm not mistaken he agreed, that's one of the reasons why he hasn't kept in touch with me. And after saying that, he wanted to write a check right there, send it to me and everything to be all gravy....I told him not to do it. That God has blessed with all I've needed and that wasn't always just money. I lied. I still needed him. And my goodness I was broke, still am and would have loved to get that check however much it was. But just the idea of him thinking that was the solution made me mad. If he would just...I dunno, call for the hell of it, lol, if that happened, My God I think I would pass out...probably freak out and not even answer the phone...repent for my sins because the messiah is back, pigs would be...hell would have...I mean that would be a crazy day.
More than words....
Alright, must watch the Heat. They made it to the finals...been waiting for this since the 7th grade.
My Birthday's coming up in less than a month. I wonder...if I'll hear from him. Father's day is coming up this weekend...I wonder if I should...I didn't send a message to him this year for his b-day...I wonder if he's going to be the bigger the person and not do the same.
More than words.
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