So really Blackberry...this is what we do? Call people randomly...awkward morning conversation.

I mean.

I know I was supposed to put you on the charger but you do me like this?!
Bitch.

I'm on spring break...so I get to sleep in so at about 8:30 my time 7:30 HIS time.
My elbow hits the phone and calls.

My ex from High-school
EXTRA throw back.

He got extra fine over the years so I kinda of recrushed him...but I'm over that mess..kinda.
I hear ringing in my dreams and all I want to do it stop the damn ringing. I hang up.
10 minutes later he calls back waking me out of my sleep.

Me: (groggily) Hullo?
Him: lol...hey. (It's good to hear your voice)
Me:What up (Not knowing who it is...)
Him: Hi? (but why 7:30 in the morning)
Me: Who...why..
Him: oh so you deleted my phone number huh? (so this call wasn't intentionally...disappointing)
lol. why'd you call?(still love me don't you.)
Me: (looking at phone discovering who it is.shit! Really?) Oh!....Hi.(nervous laugh) (I called you in my dreams and...you answered.)
Him.: Hi. (I missed you too...)
Me: I uuuh. Sleep next to my phone. Accidental call but...what's up. Accidental call are great. (I love this mistake)
Him: So you're you called me accidentally. (You still want me)
Me: Yep. (I do)
Him: So "Y" is at the top of your phone list.(Just admit it, damn it)
Me: Lol, yep. right before "A"(I can't...My pride hinders...me)
Him: Interesting. (Well...I still want you)
Me: Why say it like that? (If you only knew....)
Him: Just think it's interesting that "Y" is at the top of the list.(just admit it damn it!)
Me: Ummm, well it is. I love this.(I can't)
Him: (laughs) I was getting ready for work and was like....why is my phone ringing?? (what a beautiful surprise....)
Me: Yeah it's 7:30 over there right?? (Any times a good time to hear your voice...)
(more awkward laughs of confusion....)
Me:So...have fun at work? (This can't be the last I hear from you...)
Him: Lol..yeah ok. Talk t you later? (It won't be. Call you on your birthday.)
Me: Alright.....(Good bye my love)

I just need to start locking my damn keypad.

I'm telling on you...muscle man.

I promised that if I ever saw him that I would just walk by and not even acknowledge him.

He and my ex used to party (valuable time that could of been spent with me) When he wasn't busy with that 40 hour a week prisoning institution they call a school (F.u.ll Sa.il)

It annoyed me so much. Hence the reason why he's an ex.

He symbolized my frustration with my ex and if I ever saw him... if I ever crossed his path I would just nonchalantly act like he wasn't there.

He works at the gym where I'm member but I decided that I was no longer interested in being a member there. Mainly because they conned me into signing a 3 YEAR CONTRACT and the only way to get out of IT was to go 17 TIMES within the first 60 days of signing up and if I wasn't satisfied I could cancel.

Guess who waited last minute and had to go 14 times in a row.

My first day there. I saw him. My nemesis. He's only seen me twice and that was a while ago so he shouldn't recognize me...right?

I try to follow suit. There he is. That devil. I'm just going to walk by and....
He stops. Immediately.
"You look familiar." He says. Just say you don't know him.
"Hmmm, I have no idea what your talking about."
"I know you from somewhere."
ummmm "UFC?"
"Naw. So you know....Chris."
My emotions give way at just the mentioning of his name and I glare at him.
"Of course I know that boy.." I smile. Roxy don't smile!

He offers a free training session. Fine whatever it's free.
And he trains me. Arms. Thighs. Abs...he makes me laugh. He's hella short though but...nice. No wonder my ex hung around him so much. That fruit.

Then he starts to text me. Okaaaay. This is unprofessional? And what would your homeboy think...you texting his ex girl...our relationship fizzled only a month ago. That's it. But shit... If I have to be at the damn gym 14 TIMES in a row then fine, I'll enjoy the company but I can't suppress this awkward feeling when after each session I'm standing in the gym parking lot talking to him for 2 hours.

Is he going to tell my ex about this. They still hang out.

While having a convo with my ex his name comes up and he knew all along that he been my trainer. He had this forced apathetic tone and I knew...somewhere...deep down...he thought...and I HOPED he believed that I had a little more integrity...but I know it might have crossed his mind that I had crossed the line with his friend. I told him straight up. I'm not that type of girl. And if you thought that I would go there then...you never knew me that well. He backs down saying that he didn't think I would. Liar.

SO homeboy keeps texting me, outside of the gym interactions. Asking to come over. this is around 11 at night. WHO arrives at anybody's house after 10 that isn't about to try the person he's about to visit.

He asks me where I live.
I say on Alfalfa.
Where on Alfalfa.
By the school.
Where by the school? There's plenty apartments by the school.
Well then I guess you should start a knocking right?

He says he'll call me when he gets on my street. I said I might be asleep when he calls. So he shows up on my street. Did Roxy answer the phone to provide him direction? Nope. Green, I know. But he's the one stepping out of line. He still texted me the next day though. Called me beautiful. Hmmmm. Now YOUR REALLY OUT OF LINE.

I started going to the gym when I knew I wouldn't see him.
Thinking that maybe I should tell my ex how grimey his boy was.
But why? He's my ex....But we are friends.
Today's my 17th day going to that that damn GYM. All I have to do is write corporate and tell them it's OVER. And I don't have to see that boy. No mo. But I can't lie....I did like the attention.
Oh yeah. He told me later on that he was 19. Had I known that while he was training me? I wouldn't have taken orders from a little youngin.

I got Work to Do

I can blog at work! Thought this site would be blocked along with Facebook and Myspace!

Let's take a moment to thank God. Or just be thankful. God, thank you for this day. Thank you for my life. Thank you for these misbehaving kids that make life interesting. Thank you for allowing me to teach another year. Amen.


And I'm sitting here. It's report card night and only 4 parents came but I still have to sit here for another 2 hours....But thank God...I'm still sitting here.!

OUR ECONOMY IS F*CKED RIGHT NOW, B-A-R-A-CK-, M-C-C-A-I-N, C-L-I-N-T-O-N (with your lying a- self..really hillary? really, they were shooting at you in Baghdad, I couldn't tell with that welcome party going on? come on.) DO SOMETHING. Our economy sucks! 1/2 a trillion dollars thousands spent on...I really don't know. Thousands of lives...because....someone help me answer that.GAS PRICES.Remember when gas was 99?

So because of this 70 million Dollars has been cut from O-town public schools. That's like cutting 10 NBA players or..... couple thousand teachers. One of them almost being me because...

This is my work ethic.

Responsible Adult: Ms. Roxy you missed the meeting
Me: What Meeting?
Responsible Adult:The meeting about the meeting.
Me: I didn't hear about the meeting.
Responsible Adult:It was in the e-mail.
What e-mail?
Responsible Adult:The reminder e-mail about the e-mail.

So one day I bust in the principle's office thinking I was late for a meeting that didn't exist and I get that familiar look like...."ok. what's she on." And she kinda smiles because who on earth does this??
But she still reappointed me. Depsite there being Thousands of people more qualified than me scrambling for a job right now in these hard times...she reappointed me. And for that I say...amen.

Ok parent just came in, holla.

Smile

Smile though your heart is aching Smile even though its breaking When there are clouds in the sky, youll get by If you smile through your fear and sorrow Smile and maybe tomorrow Youll see the sun come shining through for you Light up your face with gladness Hide every trace of sadness Although a tear may be ever so near Thats the time you must keep on trying Smile, whats the use of crying? Youll find that life is still worthwhile If you just smile Thats the time you must keep on trying Smile, whats the use of crying? Youll find that life is still worthwhile If you just smile

I used to think that song was bull, if I'm not feeling it on the inside then why fake it on the outside? But this woman might have changed my mind on that. Saturday I was in the mood for Vitamin C so after my work out I hit Publix, where shopping is a pleasure, for some oranges. A woman smiled at me and she was missing maybe four teeth in the front and her smile was mostly tongue but she warmed my heart sharing her joy with me. I smiled back but I didn't show my teeth because I would have felt like I was showing off so I gave her a pleasant grin. And even though I wasn't feeling it before, my heart was warm.

Black Face is Back

Guy in the middle. African American? Not quite. Robert Downey Jr. in brown face....I honestly wouldn't have known at first...second..third glance. The movie looks like it might be funny...I love Jack Black and Ben Stiller, Bob better not act extra ignant(ingorant) though.

Plain as...my day.

A little girl's fake ponytail fell on the ground in the middle of chaos. Was I not supposed to laugh. I hope not. Because I did. Hard.

I listened to Bob Marley while I waited for my sushi.
"No Woman No Cry"

I was invited by "F*CK YOU" on myspace to be friends. I think I'll decline.

I ate a bowl of whip cream and honey wishing I had strawberries.
Whatever. Forget the strawberries.

Victory

Now for my victory.

February is my month. Chocolate. Love. Chocolately Love. Love all over my chocolate.....Lovely Chocolate. ...Black History Month.
I work at a 98% black school and the only thing they learned about was Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks. And whatever BET provides 365 days a year.

My mentor and I decided that we were going to each write a play for our students to perform. Of course this was another competition.

In Class Feb.1
Me:"I wrote a Black History Play for the Class and you guys are going to perform it for the school."
"Ooooh! Ooh! Can I be Martin Luther King?"
Me:"He's not in it."
"Oooh! Oooh! Can I be Rosa Parks?"
Me:"Rosa Parks is not in it. You guys have the rest of your lives to learn about Martin and Rosa, we're going to talk about black scientist, doctors, and inventor-"
16 bored confused faces looking at me.
Me "Look. Did you guys know a black person invented the traffic light?"
"A black person did that?"
16 stares of disbelief.
"I thought God invented the traffic light"
"I ain't even much gon' lie, I thought God invented it too."
Me"No, God didn't invent the traffic light. Gerret Morgan did. A black man."
"But God can do anything!"
Me"Yeah...ok. Through influence of God, Gerret Morgan invented the traffic light. Black people don't just sing and dance, they invented things."
"Ohhhh."


So for two weeks we practiced. For two weeks they drove me crazy. My shit was not together and it really didn't help for me to peek next door and see my competitor's class wearing costumes....Where in the hell did she get a slave costume for a child?? Huh?? Is there a white supremacist costume in there too?? Whatever works. I don't have any money for costumes.
Me "True actors don't need costumes."
"But Ms. B's class has costumes."
Me "Look Ms. S is just poor, k?"
"Man I wish I was in Ms. B's class." Nice. Jerk.

Now before when we had kid productions we had an audience of 30. You can fail in front of 30 people. My competitor invited 200+ people. My competitor had a fancy stage and a card board bus and decorations all over the stage. Her class was started to look like broadway while mine was.....grand central.
Me"True acters don't need a fancy stage"
"Man, whatever. I wish I was in that other class. We're going to suck." Nice again. Jerk.

We practiced and practiced until they did it right. Then they went back to doing wrong. Then they did it right. And then totally lost focus period. Day before the production the black history play turned into a shouting match between second graders.
"Pay attention!"
"Don't tell me my line I know how to read BOY!"
"Shut UP with your bald ugly black self"
"Yo Momma"
"Ms. S he talkin bout my Momma!"
Me "ENOUGH. Is this how we're going to look on stage? Is this how we want the whole school to see you? Is this.....forget it. It's up to you guys. I can tell you right now. That other class has there act together. But us...I dunno it's up to you guys. It's you on that stage, not me...."
I didn't want them to feel like they failed again. I didn't want people to come just to see them lose......
"Do you still want to go up there?"
16 faces saying...."why wouldn't we?" All I could think was. Again, we're going to be embarrassed and but this time. I can see it coming.

Game day
I had it in my head that we were going to suck again. But my students didn't care and neither did I. 200 people so what. I got the speech in my head ready for the aftermath. "You guys did great, I don't care what any one has to say. You all worked hard.........."

My competitor went first. The curtain opened up, 15 students dressed in the cutest costumes...and a set designed with the assistance of the art teacher. And when the first student spoke in that monotone "Hi I'm a kid and when I read out loud I sound like a robot" voice. I thought....well. Maybe we do have a chance. And so went the entire production. Fancy production...nice message....but I was bored.

And then it was our turn. I thought "Ok so since the first class didn't do that great we won't look that bad." And on they walked on the stage. With a confidence.....I had never see before.
And when my first student opened his mouth....he did exactly what I told him. They all did. The audience laughed and "oooed" and nodded heads in agreement. And then they clapped. Not just a sympathy clap either.
We won.
But I didn't do it for the win. I did it to teach some people about

Benjamin Banneker
Charles Brooks
Lennie Johnson
Patricia Bath
Mae Jemison
Dr. Phillip Emeagwali
George Carruthers
Benjamin Carson
Thomas Jennings
Sarah Goode
Charles Drew
Dr. Daniel Hale Williams
Garret Morgan

Google Them.